Being the weird kid

Ten years after primary school, I returned to (insert school name) for my sister's graduation and in so doing unintentionally entered nostalgia lane. It sounds magical, reminiscing about a time of innocence and playfulness trying to conquer the game of hee (US: Tag. UK: Tip/Tig) and memorising hand-games. In some ways, it was magical but mainly, I wish I had stayed home and binge-watched Justice League instead. I'm sure everyone would agree that learning about ourselves and how we fit into society wasn't so easy during our school days. For me, it was a nightmare because while I had an amazing circle of friends, I felt that I still didn't really fit in.

Maybe a lot of us felt that way, I don't know but I didn't just feel that way. I was fortunate enough to have people tell me repeatedly about how I didn't fit in.  I was weird. Weird wasn't the only word being used but it probably was the most favourable. 

I didn't really help my case. I couldn't help that I was scrawny but throw in socially awkward with a tendency to transform into a hyper goofball at random moments and you have yourself a walking tragedy. Added to that when you're biracial, there are identity issues you're still trying to sort out without having other people trying to tell you who you are. 

Being quirky and awkward was a huge disadvantage because I was always missing social cues and it put people off who were trying to interact with me.  As fate would have it, my one great talent was not in sports or music or dance. Nope. I had to be a writer. 

I was the person whose head was always in the clouds. Talking to oneself or to pigeons tend to put people off.

So what's my blog about today? It's going to be weird but here it is:

I'm not sure how or when it happened but suddenly, being weird and awkward was the cool thing to be. 

You have people on their Instagram posts, Facebook posts, Youtube videos bragging about how weird they are. You have celebrities like Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone and Amy Schumer as representatives of weirdness and awkwardness. 

My favourite idol of awesomeness and weirdness is Lilly Singh, a well known Youtube Celebrity with the username Superwoman. It's the in-thing. "My friends and I are super weird." "Me and my weird friends LOL"

Is this awesome or what!? I am finally accepted into the community!! Right!? Right?!

No.

It's funny actually. The very same people that love to hashtag about their weirdness seem to find less to celebrate about it when its thrown back at people like me. 

Am I weird? I've been told I am and not always in nice ways.

So what's being weird really mean? Everyone probably feels weird some time in their life. We all feel that we're different in some way. We all feel sometimes that we stand out and embrace artists like Lady Gaga to remind ourselves that it's okay. Art is usually the only way we can make people really appreciate difference and the beauty of diversity. There's this idea that weird people are more "deep"or "profound" or "intense".  Being unique really is something to be proud of and something we all share but at the end of the day, some of us are just too damn different.

Here's a random picture of Celine Dion

I don't want to say, "you're not really weird unless this, this and this" because there are no requisites for being weird. It's actually that I don't meet requisites for the norm that I'm weird in the first place. It can be painful sometimes to be different from others, tolerating microagressions or even bullying and other times its empowering because who else brings about change but weird people? People who are thought to be crazy. People who don't fit in. People who can't be put into a box.

I've never been cool and as someone who is still considered "weird" it still isn't cool. It doesn't make me better than anyone or worse. It makes me, me. 

This whole diverse inter-sectional crazy world is full of people we won't be able to "get" and in the same way, we all will feel like we're at the other end of the confusion some time in our life. Take it from someone who always feels like that.....try not to brag about your weirdness when you're not willing to accept the same in others.

So here's to all you crazy kids out there reading this weird blog, YOU'RE AWESSSOMEEEEEEE.