The Car Horn

The image below depicts a car horn.

I do not own this image.

Car horns play a major part of the daily life in the city. The loud blaring sound emitted by these devices dominate the environment; mainly around the Suva bus stand.

95% of motorists who use them are a-holes while the other 5% accounts for the use of motor horns to signal trouble and for traffic purposes.

According to the Conball University, the word "horn" was derived from the colloquial English term "horny" where studies have shown that the car horn is culturally used as a mating call when an attractive member of the opposite sex appears by the road side. This is optionally followed by either a howl or whistle by the horn user.

The horn has proven to be the most unsuccessful courting ritual existent among all other human cultures of the world. This can be attributed to the suddenness of the loud beep that the car-horn admits or the pervy shit-eating-grin held by the horn user.

In other cultures, the car-horn is a means of time-travel. The car-horn is called upon when the horn user is late to his/her destination. It is also used in traffic-jams to magically transport horn users to their destination faster.

These two uses listed above purport to the 95% of horn users.

5% of horn users use the horn as a means of warning to other motorists in case of a traffic violation or road incidents.

Welcome to Adulthood, they say.

I turned 21!! Oh man, where did all the years go???

The best thing about celebrating your birthday in the 21st century is Facebook. I mean, how great is it when your primary school friends, high school friends, aunt, uncle, sister’s father’s 2nd wife’s niece’s uncle, teacher and barber all remember your birthday!! Not only do you get great heart warming wall posts with “ “ and “xxxxxxxxxxx” “<3” all thrown in at the end of the messages, you get people coming up to you in person to say happy birthday. It’s that ONE day you feel special because you have 142 notifications and 32 messages pending on your facebook account that are all wishing you well.

So, I got a lot of well-wishers today, hand-shakes and smiles. It was a nice feeling.

What am I supposed to do now that I’m 21? I saw that a lot of people suggested that I “party-hard” and “go crazy.” Technically, I was legal enough to party hard for about 3 years now..and go crazy? I’m Fijian. Aren’t we all crazy?

Not only were both suggestions null and void, it’s Tuesday. The middle of the week. Tuesday isn’t the day to party. I mean..just listen to it’s name. Tuesday??? It sounds like a day you go pick corn or count the grains of sand on a beach. It doesn’t ring with the same sound as Friday or Saturday do. It’s just…Tuesday. I mean, even Wednesday is hump day and Monday is the plague of humanity. Sunday is lazy day. Tuesday? Tuesday just isn’t the day you’d want your birthday to fall on, no offense to Tuesday.

I celebrated on Monday and will do so officially this coming weekend. Again, no offense to Tuesday.

Now, I bragged about this on Facebook and Twitter so I thought I’d brag about it here too; my birthday was also the day the new Fiji Airways Airbus 330 was to make flight around the whole nation to debut the new design of Fiji Airways, still currently known as Air Pacific. I’m sure secretly, the pilot was my friend on Facebook and thought he’d pay tribute to me but I really was impressed with the amount of dust this event clogged into the air (metaphorically). Talk about entering the world of the big 2-1 with a bang.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to actually catch sight of the plane since I was sitting in class but I was lucky enough to hear it…which totally counts in my book. Imagine me, sitting in class staring avidly at the lecturer like the good student that I am when the sound of an approaching aeroplane flying close overhead suddenly roars to life. My head turned like a sun-flower following the sun across the sky and my eyes wandered away towards the window.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I wasn’t excited because a plane was flying overhead at a height that would scream “hijacking!”. I saw a lot of facebook posts proclaiming, “it’s just a plane.”

 I was excited because this plane had one of our most revered cultural piece portrayed against the wings and tail. Personally, I would think those cultural masi designs are too much of a treasure to be branded across an aeroplane. It has so much worth and so much meaning packed within that carries the essence and the root of our Indigenous people and their heritage. It should NEVER be used for corporate/business purposes, but that is the situation here and because the aeroplane carries that special inscription, it’s significance rises 10 scale. That’s our cultural identity being cruised through the clouds and I was going to pay the tribute it deserved. The opening and reception was reasonable. This IS not just a plane and I hope Fiji Airways is ready to deliver a hell of a lot more than Air Pacific ever did.

Sorry about that rant, let me just put away my flag and pause the National anthem.

As I was saying, I was pretty enthused at the idea of the Airbus making it’s rounds on my birthday. At least something exciting was happening on Tuesday. It didn’t mean too much for me though because I’m still pretty confused about reaching this milestone. Exactly what does this mean for me?

Someone told me it was adulthood. What’s adulthood? The moment you overcome puberty? The moment you hit 18? The moment you’re given the key at 21?

I was going to mention cartoons but who was I kidding. Cartoons are for everyone.

What does being 21 mean? It just means, you’re one year older than 20. Adulthood isn’t part of the age contract sadly. It’s actually the phase of mind you have to work towards, where you should be more proficient at making judgment of right and wrong and handling your responsibilities 10 times better than when you had less experience at life. The age 21 is just a standard year where you could have acquired enough experiences to grow out of immaturity.

What the bloody hell did I just say?

Anyway, I think I feel a bit more mature than I did the day before…..

JK

I feel like, the years are moving faster than I can run. I’m struggling to hold on to that essence of youth. It’s already my second day into the age 21 and I haven’t done anything spectacular except sit on my arse and typing out this ridiculously inspirational example of a great work of art that’s my blog post.

One of these days, I might have to post about things that’s actually an issue for our society and uni….but until then, I’m going to entertain you with my pointless self-bantering session. I just haven’t hit that part of adulthood where I’m ready to pull a few hits that have impact.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

It’s 2013 already!!!!!! Cannn youuu believe it?!!?!

I haven’t updated my blog in too long and honestly; I don’t have a good reason why either.

Anyway, I’ll update as soon as I relieve myself of this lazy-ness virus.

Just wanted to say a very Happy New Year to everyone out there.

Time to get with the good ole traditions of New Year. Fire Works!!

It’s the highlight of every year, the magic count down to New Year and the colorful displays of fireworks. The neighbourhood turns into a war-zone and the tourists start to scurry, thinking there’s an invasion but NO! No invasion! Just fire-works!! Roman candles, whistlers and those that don’t make pretty colours but only big BANGS!!!! It’s pretty much illegal for personal use in most countries but no fear! This is Fiji!! Fire up those rockets like there’s no tomorrow!

Also please note: That it is New Year’s day. I heard some kid screaming Happy Diwali the other day….

Note: I do not own this image

The other tradition: the drums!! Now you don’t need one of those fancy chinese drums or a thousand-dollar-drums they sell in music stores. Grab anything solid (preferably an inanimate object)  and start beating it with whatever make-shift drum sticks you can find. A pair of coke bottles will do-that is, the plastic ones of course.

Roll out a drummer boy tune or an old traditional hit song or even “I LIKE THE WAYYY YOU MOOOOVEE”….just  a suggestion.

It would be wise to choose a not-so-ungodly-hour to start making noise or else you might get stoned by the neighbours.

Note: I do not own this image

The bane of New Year’s when you’re at the receiving end. Splashing water on people!

Now, please refrain from leaving your home after you’ve showered because there’s a high chance, you’d be getting another bath.

I suggest drafting an escape blueprint on how you will be getting from your house to the mode of transport without being spotted by the enemy.

Be very suspicious when you spot a tap and a bucket in near proximity.

Lastly, the most important component.

FOOD.

Either they did this for Christmas or they did this for New Year. The “LOVO”. In English, “Earth-oven”- where you roast your food in a pit with hot stones.

CHICKEN, PORK, PALUSAMI, TARO, CASSAVA…..

I should stop before I faint.

 

That concludes my New Year’s post. I hope every has a great 2013.

The Gold of Life is Love

This post was published to Random Poetry..Rhyme 2 my h... at 5:50:12 PM 11/14/2012

What is it like to grow up with everyone already having imagined what you might be in the future and the responsibilities you’ll need to fulfill?

It is hard to grow into the role that’s already been laid out for you to wear but some people are lucky enough to have been allowed their own individuality and their own dreams. I myself, I’m a dreamer but when it’s the dream world where you’re allowed to be who you want, it’s the dream world you’d prefer to the harsh realities of life. That won’t solve any of my problems though and so I’m going to turn to the unresponsive white background of my blog to pour out the bitter taste of reality.

Life is a large spread of land crawling with thick masses of greenery, vines, and massive tree trunks with their tops of green shrubbery towering into the clouds. Life is a jungle. It’s dark and humid in there with only a few specks of light getting through the spaces between the leaves and branches. The trees are so tall, so wide, so rough barked that they are impossible to climb that you unable to see over the land at what lays ahead. The trees grow so close and the plants litter as far as the eye can see into the mass of darkness; that you cannot see what’s far ahead.

Your only hope is the tiny splattering of light that breaks through the open spaces and faith enough to believe there is something great beyond the darkness and chaos of the jungle. There are remnants of a concrete path, lying broken and almost unusable along the ground, half buried by the soil and almost hidden by the wild grass. It’s very difficult to find this path in the jungle and painful trying to move the sharp blades of grass; some whose cunning thorns prick your naked fingers when you try to search for the faded pavement.

This jungle, I am in. Around me there are people, some who stay close but others I can barely see but are still within hearing range. Now and again I can call out and they will hear and respond. I fear though, one day they will disappear and I will no longer know them. Others are right by me and I know them all. Some have tried to hide the pavement from me; others have lent me their spare machetes to clear the weeds off the path.

Sometimes, I’m weak and I have trouble cutting down an annoyance of a wild plant that blocks my way and people laugh. Sometimes, someone who is kind enough not to laugh steps in and helps me cut the weed down.

There are people behind me, whose tongues are like whips but yet are like gold. Sometimes, I miss a stone or a root and I trip; the lashes begin. They tear across my heart and causes pain that cripples my mind and hurts my soul. I sometimes think I can bare it no longer and lose all feeling in my legs. I think I will not stand after this. I think this travel is no longer worth the hurt.

Sometimes, I find where the pavement rises and I stand above all others during such an achievement and I receive gold. Precious, priceless and rare. It shines and glows through the darkness and I think, this is why I try. This is why I bother. So that I can have the most precious thing in the world.

I find myself always stumbling into somewhere too dark to find the path and the lashings behind me distract me from what I try to find. It’s painful and cruel and I want so much for it to stop. The only way It can, is for when I find the path they want. I want my own, though. Is it worth the pain?

All I see is darkness but always, there’s that one ray of light. The hope that I need to have to stand again. To do labour and cut, chop, chop, chop the numerous wild life in my way.

It is great help, when others around me give me cheer or spare cane-knife. Some gold too, to light my way. Someone beside me, he gives me so much gold that I’m amazed about how much bounty of it he has. It’s so precious, it’s so rare and it’s so very much appreciated.

I give my gold back to him. As much as I have, as much as I can give. All I want, is for those behind me to one day give my share of gold. As much gold as I’ve always given to them. As much as I can afford to give.

I want that I can find my own path. I want that those closest to me do not hurt me.

As it is for now, I still have my light. For now, the most precious gift of all is in my grasp. I may have fallen into a trench. I may have lost track of my path. I may be suffering the piercing pain of those lashing whips.

BUT

I’m still in this forest. My path still exists somewhere. I have gold. I have light. I have hope.

Good luck with exams

One hour before the exam ends, I'm already walking out the door with a content smile on my face. 5 STARS FOR ME! Ofcourse, it's not always good to finish before time, but this time, I'm pretty sure I got it down.
The best thing about having exams, is the essays (discussion or argumentative). Easy marks, right there!

Now, I'm rushing and rambling all the details out and you're probably not following, so I think it would be safe to start from the beginning.

After finishing my last blog post, I was automatially logged off my computer for some sort of update. At first, miffed at not being able to check on other important documents and projects...ahem twitter ahem...I realized that it was actually almost time for the exam to start.

The exam location was about a 10 minute walk from where I was, and so I stood, resigned to face my destiny penning the blank cheap paper of exam answer sheets.

On the top of my head, I rehearsed whatever was important to remember and solely relying on the essay to save my soul. The campus was empty, as students sat around studiously flipping through their texts and books trying to find a last minute antidote to the incoming plague they were all going to face.

I looked on, bored, with earphones plugged in, my mind fantasizing my belting off the notes of Turner's "Simply the best" infront of a crowd of admiring fans. Thank you, thank you.

Then, SQUELCH!

I froze, dread numbing my whole body and me unwilling to look down and see. Then I did..and I saw my foot shit deep in shit.

I thought..no, it couldn't be! Please say it rained chocolates this morning. It's chocolate puddle, that's all it is.

Then, the scent of food that had undergone the process of digestion and egestion sunk in like an unwanted swarm of mosquitoes covering the length of your skin.

Ready to damn the world, I glanced around shiftily for any enemy body that might be happening nearby. I spotted two friendlies a way back but they were too far to see my predicament, luckily.

Uncomfortably, I walked on like a limping old woman with eye movement problems and tried to find a tap, to no avail. I thought, well stuff it! I wiped the offending matter against the grass and hoped no one would think anything was off.

As soon as the friendlies caught up, I matched their gait and resumed the illusion of a normal university student.

Oh I was good.

I got to the exam area, sat down and sniffed a few times to make sure my lil earlier incident had left no evidence. I was clear to go, and so I sat staring at the paper, ready to begin.

The supervisors yelled out the usual things to remember. No devices, shut off all phones and if caught cheating or with any illegal substances, they'd off your head. Something along those lines.

All that was expected off us was an essay.

Needless to say, I think I handled things pretty well. I walked out like a triumphant warrior who'd just won the battle that was to win the war.

I bought a hot dog.

Though I literally started off stepping into shit, I ended up....buying hot dog. I'm sure I had a good point there but I've forgotten what it was.

I wish everyone the best of lucks in their exams. Don't lose hope when it seems like your day isnt going well. AAh there it is! The point I was trying to make.

:)

Random rambling of the Kid before exams

The moment has finally arrived. The MOMENT. 
Exams are finally here, and when I say here, I mean in an hours time...and counting.
Am I prepared? Have I mastered every topic, every subject matter and means of assessment in this course? Will I be able to pass with a flying A or a still-acceptable C?

As I sit here and contemplate whether or not the hungry dogs stall was open, I also wonder about the exams. There is no panic, my palms aren't sweaty, my knees aren't weak, my arms aren't heavy....
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs,
but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,
the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no...

Got carried away there for a bit.

Anyhow, I'm pretty much relaxed for the upcoming paper. Whether or not it will be the same story for the reading time before exams, I don't know. All I know for sure is I NEED A HOT DOG.

Alas, I must bid thee all farewell as I suit up for the oncoming battle of the titans. Me versus the dreaded and dark creation of the gods of education...Exams. I hear their trumpets bellowing in the wind just beyond the cliffs there, and I shall take up the call of honour and stride into battle like the gallant and fiercely hungry for hot dogs warrior I am.

 

  

  

Fiji Review

Fiji: A Novel by Lance Morcan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It took me ages to read this book, thanks very much to all the Uni distractions!! I barely had time to read a chapter before I was bombarded with a whole lot of assignments and all the other ammunition education uses on us helpless victims of the system.
I finally had the sense to download the e-book into my phone, and life sitting idly in the bus or throne of thought was graced with some reading entertainment.
The novel caught my eye firstly because the novel title was, "Fiji." I thought, hey! I just happened to live in Fiji! Look at that!
At first, I thought it was some sort of biography of a dead dictator, or cannibal, or chief maybe. I was surprised to find out, this was a historical adventure fiction!
With a 19th century Fiji as a setting, the plot launches with the introduction of our heroes; the missionary and the musket trader. Oh the contradiction there, what a team!

Susannah Drake and her father Drake Snr are taking the word of God to a village in Momi Bay, meaning to save all their souls and instilling christianity into the village people.
Now, we aren't talking rainbows, sunshine and peace village people. We're talking, a village full of reformed cannibals who require human sacrifices for any little accomplishment they've made.
As a Fijian, I find the old traditions of our people fascinating and just as great as they are crude and gruesome. The novel touches on most of these now extinct practices, in mad detail and it's AWESOME! (However, do a little research after reading...you'll be surprised at what you'll find.)
Then ofcourse, I'm sorry I got carried away. Then, we have Nathan, the musket trader. He is more of a prick than a hero, at the beginning of the novel. The people of Fiji were all just a bunch of primitives, uncivilized in their ways and ignorant of their own resources. This was Nathan's point-of-view. How he had gone so far without getting eaten, is a mystery to me.
He just happens to be going to Momi Bay, and just happens to be on the same boat as dear Sussannah. DUN DUN DUN....

Momi Bay villagers themselves were facing an on-going war with the rebels, who were kidnapping women to grow their own brood of..um...rebels. Sussannah and Nathan, strangers torn by faith and culture, connected by their barely suppressed sexual chemistry, are thrown into this war and forced to take sides.

Obviously, the rebels are the bad guys.

Racial prejudice, religion, culture and family, I thought, were the underlying messages that the story carried with it.

The adventure, fast-paced and nail biting was a real page turner. The romance, sizzling, exciting, forbidden.

It was definitely well worth the read, and I give it my 5 stars because that's the maximum amount of stars we're allowed to give...

View all my reviews

Find it on Amazon and Goodreads