The Uni Bliss

Half the semester's gone by and I'm still crawling in it's dust. Where is time rushing to so fast? Is there a train to catch? Is there a game on he's rushing off to see?
How selfish that he doesn't bother waiting for anyone else.

Special Relativity in Under 15 Minuteshttp://www.btinternet.com/~j.doyle/SR/sr2.htm

I thought high school was fast....but as it turns out, university time seems to run a little faster than the rest of the world. I remember reading someone's tweet, "Notice how Monday is so far from the weekend and the weekend is so close to Monday?"

With time flying and the end of the semester (seemingly so far away) is creeping not around but close to the corner, I've been trying to juggle the amount of assignments thrown our way from my different courses.
I'm pretty proud that I haven't keeled over yet and that my friends and I are "coping."

The routine remains the same. Wake up early. Get dressed. Breakfast. Uni.

Well, I guess it doesn't usually work out that way.

Waking up early depends on the time of class. Unfortunately, with my life somehow a magnet for the worst that luck has to offer, I'm slotted for an 8am class both on Monday and Friday. With my mobile phone, the assistant to the internet which is the central and a control panel of organisation in my life, I set up alarm schedules  and calender appointments so that I can remember things.

At 4.55am, the shrill call of my mobile phone jars half the neighbourhood awake but for some reason can't penetrate the shield of sleep my sisters have themselves incased in. Ofcourse because the phone is usually right by my ear, I'm deaf half the morning because the alarm goes off more than once.

No one bothers with the 4.55am, because that's just the first siege at the impenetrable shield of sleep. It scratches the surface a little and will rouse a series of tossing and turning from members of the family.

Then, we have the 5.00am alarm, which is just 5 minutes following, that manages to dent the shield of sleep. For me, my ear's ringing as loudly as the alarm and so the third alarm takes over. My voice.

A few encouraging words to get out of bed and a few threats after, the house is up and running.

This routine excludes my father and baby brother. They have some kind of bio-clock that sets them to awaken at an ungodly hour in the morning.

Breakfast is almost always a nada. I'm pretty sure no one in my 8am class has breakfast regularly every monday morning. It is an impossible feat. I am not sure if such demi-gods exist in my class. Unfortunately, I'm just the average human who marches into the university compound with a bag of maccas in my hand.

On the other hand, when money is a little tight, a nice carton of pineapple juice and a cookie will do.

I'm usually first to arrive but now and then we have those super-beings that deny the gravitational power of sleep, sitting around the classroom. It's an amazing spectacle and I have to stop and wonder for a second about how these people live, before continuing on.

Lectures last for two hours, and ofcourse it seems to be lengthier on Mondays than it is on Fridays. Monday manages  to turn everything into a drag. Even buying food. Even eating food. Come on mouth why aren't you chewing faster? Why isn't this food disappearing quickly enough?

It sucks out the joy out of life. Evil Mondays.

Now ofcourse there's always that element of any institution, organization and groups of human beings that make things a little bit interesting....
Drama.

Drama in university would rival the tv shows that seem to kill off your brain cells every minute you watch. Whether or not you're involved, you know every bit of detail on what's going on.

The catalysts for these ofcourse would include facebook and twitter. Know, that no one is safe. Every word spoken and whispered is broadcasted. There ARE no secrets.

That actually makes a pretty good tag line for a tv show.

Anyway, recently we've been amassed with drama. Of what nature, of who is involved and what it is about, unfortunately I can't speak off.

The inner politics of class, and class organizations are entertaining...that much, I can say.

I also found out my high school teacher is teaching one of my courses.....awkward.

University curriculum strains and fragments our brains into little pieces so that we have to keep running around to collect them into our woven basket. I've been so engrossed in university, I've neglected much of my social life.

Social life here is referring to the novels that I have to drag reading and the tv shows I managed to access on youtube.

High school students are out on holiday at the moment but things in uni are as hectic as ever. I look towards these high schoolers with envy.

I think it's safe to say, I have actually settled into uni. To say otherwise would mean I'm absolutely hopeless, seeing as I've been here two years.

The "uni bliss" isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Then again, most things in life aren't what we expect it to be.

As meaningless as this blog post was, I thought I'd put something up since I haven't updated in a while.

Yes, I am alive. The university has not eaten me up.

Until the next time, have a good week.

Some things never change...

Usually, I depend on the alarm clock or the shrill screeches of the siblings to rouse me up early, 5am in the morning. This morning however, despite going to bed at a painful 2am in the morning, my eyes fluttered open at around 6am (an hour later than the usual 5am but still on time) and I had class to attend, 2 hours from then. It seemed as if my butt was heavier this morning than it was any other morning. The physical effort it took to inch to the side of the bed and the massive exertion to sit up was so overwhelming, that for a second, I was going to come down with a rare morning disease and miss Uni. Just for a second.
Common sense returned, inspired by the smell of fresh bread and raspberry jam in the kitchen. I honestly don't know how I managed to stand with the amount of strength that small action required. Why hadn't I developed a 6-pack yet with the amount of work I do every morning. Sheesh. How unfair life was.
I detoured a little around the house to evaluate who in the household were awake...everyone. Even my few months only brother was giggling in the room. Honestly. Where did they get their morning zeal from? Meanwhile, I felt like I had just got back from a session of weights (minus the perspiration).

I reached the Uni gates at 7:15am in the morning and already I could feel the heat and humidity building up a pespiration welcoming committee. There is that one miracle- air conditioning, which saves all our souls from the angsty equator running around nearby. Not that I like air-conditioning. I want to feel cooler...not get ship offed to Alaska. Honestly.

There was to be a test this morning and that familiar burn in the insides of my stomach had began. The heady scent of information was overpowering. The panic of not knowing enough repelled the affects of air conditioning so that I resembled one of those anime characters where the camera is zoomed up to the rain drop bead of sweat near the apostrophe eyes.

The seconds that crawled like a snail during class was flashing by, drawing the arrival of the professor and the dreaded test closer. I probably wasn't ready this morning because we had this test every Friday...and I didn't usually panic. Today I was. Nothing seemed to stick. My brain was crumbling into pieces of jig saw that just couldn't match up.

Students poured in, under massive amounts of newspapers from the whole week, trying to get in as much information as they can. To think it was only a multiple choice, true and false question- here we were preparing for what looked like the Finals. Then suddenly, a student stood and it was almost as if she had been an angel sent by God.

Slowly she gestured to her screen and in a loud voice proclaimed;
"This class has been cancelled."
The skies cleared up of all clouds, bright light seared across the darkened plains and a group of chorusing cherubs fluttered invisibly towards us. Oh glory be! There was no class! Alleluia!

The burden was lifted from our shoulders and again we could roam this earth freely, for the plague had passed.

 Unfortunately, our professor was sick and I do hope he gets better soon. I'm glad he took time off today to think about himself and his health and that's our utmost concern. That he takes as loooong as he needs but, just keep updating us on what we need to read up on to keep up.

Hope you get better soon, sir.

This scenario was so famous in Primary School and Secondary School. Looks like, somethings don't change.

Turning the big 2-0

I turn 20 today! 19 March, 2012. Another milestone in my life. Another stair up the staircase of life's journey. Another year. Another Age.

Initially, I was dreading this day; the moment when your teen years slip away and you're into the dimension of adulthood. That moment when your maturity level is suppose to increase and you're expected not to watch Power Rangers. The year you should have at least a mental picture on what to do with your life.

So how do I feel as a 20 year old? Well, I haven't grown an inch since yesterday and I'd like to catch tonight's episode of Spongebob. What do I want to do with my life? I want to rule the world and accomplish what Pinky and the Brain never could.

Age. Another thing humans like to discriminate against, as well as race, religion, colour and so on and so forth.

Maturity isn't defined by age; well, I don't think it is, anyway. It's defined by your experiences in life, what you've learnt from your mistakes and the mistakes of those before you.

My definition of age, is that it's a reminder not to waste your time away on trivial things. Like trying to squelch your individualism to the standards society has set and following suit like water in the river. As a 20 year old, I'm not really interested in clubbing or acting like a sex-starved cow during mating season, like sadly, how some girls my age do. I said "some". Before anyone starts throwing accusations at me. If that's the "norm" of society than count me out. If that means I'm going to be classified as a dork, geek or weirdo; fine with me.
Excuse me, but my sense of dignity is a little different.

Twenty years on this Earth isn't much really and yet still..quite a long time. I still refer to the 90's as "ten years ago". Time flies by so fast. Excuse the cliche.
On the other hand, so much has happened in my life and time seems so slow sometimes. Like high school. I feel as if I've left high school years ago. Except, that was just two years ago.

 I like being young and I like embracing my youth. I'd rather not rush into life, trying to be older than I am and having to look back mournfully later at the lost years.

I also love when people take time to wish you a Happy Birthday. Thank you FACEBOOK.
I was about to call it a night, this morning around 1am but just checked on all emails a last time. That also included a peek on twitter and facebook. Lo and behold, I already had birthday wishes posted on my wall. At one in the morning!

So a sinister grin crossed my face and I sat in front of the monitor watching my notifications icon with folded hands. It has begun...

I kid. I actually just replied to every comment(..and yes, I actually do reply to each comment. That's how grateful I am) and thanked them heartily. Especially that they'd been so quick to send the birthday wishes.

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes. I love you all so much.

I'm not sure if birthdays are times for resolutions or anything like that, because for me I'd rather just have food...or money...or new stuff. Materialistic? Very.
It's lent anyway and we have New Years for that. Give me a break.

I think though, now that I'm twenty, things are going to have to change. I'm not talking drastic changes like giving up cartoons and bongos, but more on the side of responsibility and a self evaluation on how to become a better person.

Life is waiting with open arms, ready to throttle embrace you, so live all you can!

Thank goodness for poetry

It looks grey outside. Almost blue, but the chilly kind of blue. The kind of blue that only dampens your mood. The rain is pouring in buckets and blanketing everyone with the loud continuous roar of it's wrath. It's cold. It's gloomy. I don't know if the weather was taunting me by mimicking my mood or just empathizing with me.

The terrible thing of having a blog about expressing myself, is knowing that when it comes down to it., I actually can't. Not fully anyway. Not the way I want to. This isn't a vent area as much as I want it to be, or anyone else for that matter. Lucky you guys who can actually keep a diary.

Anyhow, instead of blabbing on and on about nothing, I thought I'd write a poem. I know I already have a page for it but I think I'll throw one on here. 

The cold draft seeps in through the gaps in the windows
like the slice of sadness that slipped into her heart
It spread, flooded, numbed and yet pained, 
lethal like a poisonous dart.


I definitely feel a little better. Well in a way, I had it my way and used this post to vent. On the other hand, I actually couldn't vent and now I think no one's listening.

Sorry for this post guys. I just needed to throw something out there.

xoxoxoxo


 

Facebook Statuses???

Another round of rainy weather for Suva, the capital of Fiji and so sitting indoors, I thought I'd mingle with my fellow twitter users and check in on Facebook.

Since joining twitter, I've left it up to my twitter feed to update my Facebook status; my favourite part of having a Facebook profile, but now and then, I like to check my Facebook home page to see how everyone's doing.

It's amazing how much we can piece together about people just by reading their facebook statuses or wall posts even for that matter, since they're public.....

Therein begins the subject matter of this post. You know your facebook status is viewable to EVERYONE who has either subscribed to you or have you added as a friend.

First of all, not to seem like a hypocrite, I'm actually one of those who fanatically update their FB status.

Probably those poor souls I've added would understand, since I flood their home page every day with the current weather, global political situations, global human rights issues, rants about music, about being hungry, about the weather, about the transport, about the book I'm reading, what page of the book I'm reading, what line I am up to in the book I'm reading, what tv show I might be watching that very moment, what tv shows I  liked watching, movies, actors, actresses, random people I see, random people I meet (yes there's a difference), youtube shares, articles I've read, Uni, RUGBY and of course the rare angry statuses that pop up now and again.

What I don't do on my status? I don't call anyone out. That's totally unnecessary and only causes more trouble. A nice little cryptic message or general update or even an "ARRRGHHHHHHHH GRRRRR RAWWWRRRRRRRR" would do. Rugby is an exception.

On the other hand, if I wrote "Excuse me (name of person), I think your hair looks like something I use to keep my computer free of dust particles..." that would be very rude, I don't even know why people would bother posting up something like that. Not to mention, the amount of trouble it could stir and danger it could put people in.

I don't make obvious statuses about my relationships and to whom I'm referring to if I throw up something that sounds pretty deep. People who know me, know I put up pretty deep statuses.
HAHA!

I kid.

Seriously though, I have my dignity.

If you have family problems or boy/girl problems, some of us do care (contrary to what people may tell you) and all you have to do is call us up and vent. I'm always going to be there to listen. However! Save me the melodramatic statuses please. I like statuses like, "One of the worst feelings you could feel is missing someone who will never miss you back." A classic pote scenario but I can empathize. A small general update on the family situation or boy situation is okay. What I don't do is, "OH ROBBIE TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK!" -_- If he or she is worth it, I don't know about other people, but I don't mind an epic speech status or poem or something deep. There's always a better way to go about it.

Then we have, the opinionated people.
Oh lord, where do I start.

I love that people use their status to express their concerns and views on things. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion even if it is contradictory to someone else's. In my case, I like to read contradictory opinions to see where someone is coming from with their argument or view. I know there are other people who do that too, because it gives you a better understanding and a broader view on a certain subject.

HOWEVER.

There is a way to express your opinion without being too offensive to what someone else believes in. If you know what you believe in may offend someone else, it's either you don't put it up if it isn't worth any fuss over or put it in a way that's CONSTRUCTIVE! Sometimes you can't help that it will offend people, but try for them to understand you instead of shoving your beliefs down someone's throat.

I came across a status of this young lady on facebook and she's infamous for her blunt opinions and in most cases, rather offensive statuses. Why I haven't unadded her is because she, in all her mis-led ways, is pretty brilliant. I definitely "get" her most of the time but sometimes she makes me want to throttle her.

Here is the most famous over-used lines for rudely opinionated people;
"This is my opinion and if you don't like it, too bad." That was edited. "My  page and therefore I can post up whatever I like." Edited. Remember guys, people you've added read what you have to say and if you post it publicly, expect a response. You may own your page but you don't own facebook.

Here's one that pisses me off.
My freedom of speech.

.....

There are societies and cultures in this world where freedom of speech is severely restricted or basically non-existent. People die trying to advocate and people die in the cause for their human right, to be heard. People are severely punished for speaking out. People are forced to take mistreatment quietly.

How could online users be so ignorant and so careless to use that term, Freedom of speech, so lightly. Freedom of speech is a human right, it's not a light concept, and just like everything in this world it comes with responsibilities. Know when to draw the line on what is your right to be heard and when you're abusing that right.  You can't be heard if there are no one listening, so why would anyone hear you if you refuse to listen to the other side. It's not black and white, you can't say whatever you like.

If you have a right to opinion and the right to speech, learn to treasure and utilize that for the greater good. Not something as trivial as facebook statuses that are so poorly written, they offend masses of people.

Now, last but not least, your status location.

This is common sense, but for the sake of those who lack it, don't put up your exact locations on your status.
"I'm at Uni or at Church," is fine with me. "I'm standing at the white gate across boulevard right now," is not fine. If you see a shady character with a blackberry phone looking between you and his phone...and you know what you've just posted up-RUN.

Here, I'll end my rant. I really didn't mean to but oh well. Feel free to leave comments and I hope I haven't offended anyone. These are just some of my concerns on facebook statuses and if you think I was unfair or hypocritical in some way please leave a comment (constructive one). This was not meant to offend, just my views. I hope everyone has a good day!

Till next time!

Back in the Game

So I woke up this morning, hopping out of bed like a Kangaroo because I had forgotten to do dad's typing the night before. I'll just throw in a sheepish grin there.
I spent the morning doing some typing, before remembering that today was the day I was going to receive the verdict from the assessors on whether or not I was going to be accepted back into my course.
Despite my positive attitude one blog ago, the thought only served as a mood damper.
I think all Fijians would know that feeling where during a rugby game ( yes, I'm resorting to rugby examples. Bite me) the team is winning and then suddenly, 10 seconds before the game is about to finish the opposing team manages to draw the points resulting in extra time.
Everyone's at the edge of their sits, are we going to win? Are we going to lose? What's the referee's name?

There's always that stray pessimism that sinks in and makes you think, "This is it. It's the end. We're going to lose."

That's the path my mentality chose to take and so I got my shovel out and begun to dig a hole. My calligraphy skills were non-existent, so my tomb stone read something like-

Then, I realized my flower looked like a handicapped butterfly, so I needed to start again. Except, I didn't have enough time, because I had classes to get to.
I arrived in school, weaving my way through the labyrinth of construction (Slight exaggeration) and marched towards the lion's office.

I got there, took a breather and then strolled in..like boss!

Not really.

He's such a morning, day, afternoon person...I don't think he's ever without he's perkiness.

After confirming twice that the writing I submitted to him was not edited, he agreed to accept me on the basis of my ability and my word that I was going to do my best.

The titanic relief engulfed me, I had to just get out of the office, sprint across the campus and sing "Joy to the world."

Except, I didn't do that because of two reasons; hearing aids would go scarce and probably face a price increase in Suva and I had to wait ten more months before singing that song or else my mental state would receive severe scrutiny from the public.

Instead, I looked a little bit more light on my feet as I headed out to my next destination. The day looked brighter, the air smelled cleaner and oh was that a bunny!!?

Oops, sorry no. Just a mongoose.

I paraded across the campus, went to the Radio Pasifik office and submitted my application to be a volunteer. We'll see how that goes.
Now I'm sitting below a merciless air conditioner in the great white north of the campus, called the ITS lab keeping the blood circulation in my hands going by typing up this blog.

I couldn't wait, I had to have this up. I'm back in the game and I can't wait to continue the semester after the tragic tumble I received in my first week.

It's funny how much your faith gets tested, and seeing as I got out of a situation I thought was hopeless; I guess I realized, I hadn't gotten out empty handed.

I learnt something. There's always hope as long as you have faith and as long as you persevere. In this case, I just won the first battle,  and that was, just getting in. The academic year is just starting and I hope nothing too terrible pops up in the near future.

Now to bear the next 2 hours of class, being taught how to turn a computer on while trying to survive the sudden bout of winter the air conditioner blessed me with  -_- How exciting!

One more lesson. Wear mittens when going to the ITS lab.

See you soon =)

When Life Gives you Lemons

Recently, I've been upset with Uni for dropping me from my course. To say I had been looking forward to starting this course, is the biggest understatement I could ever make. I want to do Journalism. I applied last year, and I got in last year.
Then suddenly, in the first week of the semester, "bloop".
Sorry guys, you've been dropped. Our bad. -_-

FIRST OF ALL, we didn't get a phone call or mail but a nice little bulletin post on the Uni website.
I knew that a few students were going to be dropped but I was pretty sure I was okay, I mean...I've been enrolled for almost a year now...

So, my first reaction, looked something like this-

See, I wasn't sure if I was seeing right. I switched the monitor off and then on and then off again...but there it was. Clearer than the blue of the sky in a cloudless day. I logged off and logged on. Nope, it really was there. Me. I've been dropped! By then, I looked something like this-

I couldn't believe it. My hopes! My dreams! Gone in a flash! Distraught, I did my best to calm down before e-mailing the lecturer to find out what had happened. I was calm, sensible and did my best to keep the e-mail formal but yet personal enough to show how disappointed I was.

  

After that, I hit twitter, facebook, msn and any other website I knew, trying to contact all the other poor victims of this wretched nightmare. That only got me more worked up, and then I looked like this-

 

I had my whole speech worked out in my head, because I knew that I'd end up having to approach the lecturer personally. It wasn't long before I received a short e-mail that basically repeated the insignificant looking bulletin board and something that resembled an apology. I wasn't angry than, just disheartened.
Next day, speech in mind and guns loaded (metaphorically of-course), I marched into the campus towards the office.
With every step my anger and my distraught grew, until I was literally quivering by the time I reached the office door. There it stood, beckoning me with an aura of authority to step up into the ring and fight a battle where I was inevitably going to be the lamb in a fight with the lion.
I grasped the door knob..turned it, prayed....
locked.

Pote.

Frustrated, I  walked around the campus aimlessly with drooping shoulders until I saw the lecturer himself walking towards his office. I followed him, barged in meekly, apologized and squeaked an introduction.
I was definitely a force to be reckoned with.

I was told to attend class with the rest of those accepted....and then managed to talk with him after the class.

They were basing my being dropped on my high school marks...two years ago.
I couldn't believe it, but sadly, that was the case.

Luckily, the lion was going to give me a chance.

He wanted to see my writing the next day.

A friend of mine, Jo, I mentioned her once in the blog, had been present. She too had been dropped. This was her reaction.

I have never met someone as brimming with optimism as she was. The girl had no cloud in her sky. All she did was smile, say that she had a good feeling about this and waltzed off.

She made me feel better, but because I hadn't eaten the day before (I had been too upset to eat), I got hungry.
Again she surprises me. She produces egg sandwiches, and we sat at a free table lunching away as if our career and future wasn't about to walk the plank.

I got home, fueled by Jo's encouragement and slept more peacefully than I had the day before.

I'm still not sure if I'll be accepted and there's a pretty good chance I won't be able to get back in. I'm upset about it of course, but what can I do?

 It occurred to me that this was what they meant by "when life hands you lemons...."

HAHA I'm joking!

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If I am dropped from Journalism, than maybe there is something I'm meant to do first before pursuing it and if my love for writing tells me anything, it's that, I will get back. Somehow, even if it isn't now. I'll pursue law and maybe volunteer for community projects in my free time.

It's not the end of the world and definitely not the end of this dream.